Being single can be tough sometimes. But it’s only tough when you are anxious or you sulk in your loneliness. We’ve heard Pastor John Gray say that we are not wives when we are married; we are already wives before we meet someone. While this is true, there are still things we need to do to become a man’s good thing. We have to be a good thing for him to obtain favor from the Lord.
Proverbs 18:22 A man who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. While we are single, there are things we should be learning. One thing we should be learning is to serve. One thing I learned in my previous marriage was we can’t go into relationships and marriage one sided. There has to be a sacrifice made to say we are going to not always expect something for ourselves, but we are going to make it a point to serve one another. In our time of being single, we have to learn this trait so that we can be affective wife. How are you learning this? Are you serving in ministry? Do you go to anyone’s house to offer to do something? Do you serve your children?
Ephesians 5:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
While we are single, we have to learn self- control. Yes, I said it. All of us singles have to be willing to offer our worship to God using our bodies. I had to come to the understanding that if I want my life to worship God, I have to control my sexual desires. Controlling our sexual desires sets the tone for when we do get into a relationship and get married. If we can’t control ourselves in singleness, we will have a hard time in a relationship. Then when marriage happens there is a big chance for adultery to take place and other things to manifest. Not in all cases, but in a lot of them. It can happen. But God’s word says he does not tempt us but gives us a way to escape. So we can refrain, with the help of God of course.
Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
I was talking to a friend about an article I was reading about setting the tone for relationships. There are some things as singles that we just have to leave up to the man. One of the things at the top of the list is pursuit. We shouldn’t be the ones doing the chasing, partly because if that’s how the relationship starts, it can be that way all the time. So because you had to push him into the relationship, he finally agreed, but think about when you guys have to make decisions or when you get married and have kids. He may never be the one to step up and take lead. We have to know what tone we want set.
As a single we have to know the type of man we want in our lives. We can’t just accept everything that comes our way. We can’t settle for less than what God has for us. We can’t say, “He seems like he is good. He might be able to lead.” We have to be women of God who will go before the throne and sit at his feet, seeking wisdom and discernment. God gives wisdom generously to those who ask. Until he sends The One, it’s ok to be single and satisfied.