My children, just like everyone else, are very important to me. What are also important to me is how they grow up and what type of men they will be when they are older. I am always taking inventory of myself as a mother. For me, being a mother is more than just taking care of them and making sure they have what they need and sometimes what they want. It’s also about the example I am in front of them. What I am reflecting everyday. Kids see and repeat everything. For me, it is important to make sure when they go out in the world, even though they will be exposed to a lot of different things, they will have some kind of example of how to behave.
I’m not saying that my boys will do everything the right way. No one is perfect. I try to always tell myself that just like I live in this flesh, so does my children. They are going to make mistakes just like I did. But who am I to not try to show my kids who they should be growing up in this world. A lot of people think this is crazy, but I am willing to stand on the word of God when it says in Proverbs 22:6, Train up a child in the way they should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.
Being a mother, isn’t just about telling my children what to do and what not to do. It’s also about living it. For instance, let’s start with the music they listen to. I remember before I decided to let go of certain types of music I would listen to anything, even around my oldest son. However, I never wanted him to say certain things. I would play the music around him but tell him not tossing the words. I soon came to the realization that I can’t be a ‘do as I say and not as I do’ parent. I have to be the example. I had to start feeding my spirit with the right things so that I could have the right things on the inside of me to give to him. I always try to keep their eyes and ears protected when they are around me.
The day before Christmas 2018, my sons and I went to spend the night with my mom and step dad. We were in the kitchen and we were watching The Predator. The boys had come in to eat some corndogs and one of the characters said a curse word. All of a sudden DJ says, “That’s a bad word. I don’t say that word.” Anyone who knows me, know that I am not one to use profanity. This was also something I decided to change when my oldest was smaller. Ephesians 4:29 says, ‘do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.’ I Speak words of faith around my children and teach them scripture as an example to try to show them how they should speak.
I’ve had so many people tell me that the way I think is unrealistic or I can’t try to shield my kids from different things. However, it’s not about shielding them from things, but more about being an example in their lives. Our children already see enough of what they shouldn’t do and say. Why demonstrate the same thing at home? Our children will make mistakes, they won’t get everything right. But if we deposit the right things in them at a young age, it may make for less bad decisions and wisdom at an earlier age. Let’s live the lives we tell our children to live.