One of the things the world will make you think is ok in a relationship is co-habitating. Look, I get it. The bible doesnt say you cant live together before marriage. Everyone knows that already. But I mean come on. Are you really going to be able to stay with your man and not have sex with him? I highly doubt it. And the bible has a lot to say about THAT.
I was reading this bible plan called Dating With a Purpose. I came across some interesting information of the research discovered with couples who live together before marriage. It was this:
There is a great deal of research today about the pros and cons of cohabiting. Of course, there is a spiritual side to this conversation related to sex outside of marriage, but let’s examine this matter from a secular viewpoint. Research confirms that cohabiting couples:
Increase their risk of divorce by 50%
Value their independence rather than an interdependent relationship
Are less sexually trustworthy
Have more negative attitudes about marriage
Have lower religious commitment Break up at a rate of 50% before marrying (unfortunately trial marriage often has a trial commitment)
Have lower marital quality and commitment if they do marry
Are tempted to “slide” into marriage (“We’re living together and sharing a bus pass, why not get hitched?”) instead of making a conscious decision to throw their entire selves into marriage
And this is from a SECULAR view. These things can happen whether you are or are NOT a Christian. When I moved out on my own, one of things I could not wait to do was live with my boyfriend. I co-habitated with one boyfriend for about 10 months. That relationship went no where. Then after him, my ex- husband and I lived together before we were married. I will tell you, all of those examples were completely accurate with me and my ex-husband.
Genesis 2:24 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh
I believe God wants us to wait until marriage to co-habitate. He already knows our flesh is weak and cannot handle the temptation. He doesnt want us falling into sexual immorality.
Sex is not the only thing we can save for marriage. Sometimes, I think about the excitement I'll feel waiting for the day when I marry the right person and we move in together. It's going to be special. It will feel better knowing we did it the right way.
In a lot of relationships we also see that when couples co-habitate, in some cases, it takes them longer to get married. The woman may be hoping for marriage, while the man is thinking, "for what? It will just mess up the relationship." or "it's like we are already married anyway" or "marriage is just a piece of paper." Living together doesnt make us married. It only causes us to NOT value marriage the way we should. Co-habitating doesn't make him pop the question. Statistics claim that cohabitation lessens your chances of ever marrying him by 50%.
Shouldn't we want to be valued by a man enough to want to marry us? Before we can do that, we have to value ourselves first. That means not only holding ourselves but also staying away from things that will cause us to fall into sexual temptation. 1Thessalonians 4:3-4 says, Its God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality, that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen who do not know God.
Co-habitating also takes all the fun out of the adrenaline you'll feel learning new things about each other when you are married. Playing wife takes all the fun out of the adrenaline you will feel when you actually become a wife.
God has made us strong. He has made us powerful. He keeps us when we want to be kept. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, 13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. It may be tempting to want to move in and live with and wake up to your boo every day. But wait it out. I believe the man will see more value in you and it will be worth it in the end.