Is He The One?

God is hiding him for you

It takes strength and a discerning heart to know if someone is right for you. Let's face it, we need Jesus. We need his help with every area in our lives. Especially when it comes to picking the right man to be in our lives. A lot of times when I witness women going through relationships, one after the other, I just know that there is something that is keeping them in this cycle that just takes them around and around.

I know because I've been there. I cant ever even remember willingly letting go of a relationship because the man was no good for me. There was always something that happened where I was forced to let go. I was never in a place where I realized my value and it took me a long time to see that I AM THE PRIZE. I think all women know when they should get out, we just settle and choose to hold onto relationships because we are comfortable.

We have to start clearly seeing when someone is a counterfeit. We have to take the initiative to let go of counterfeits. Someone who is not meant for you is going to do nothing but have both of you going no where really fast. Whatever you see in him in the relationship that you know is not right and is no good for you, dont try to hold on to it or take it into a marriage. However he is as your boyfriend, will at some point spill over into your marriage. If you guys are constantly arguing to the point where it is unhealthy, or if he is cheating, or if he is abusing you, trust me when I tell you, staying and trying to love him even harder will not change him. Marriage will not change him.

Whatever red flags you are seeing will still be there until he has gone to God to get help to fix them. We as women know what we want in a man. If he does not meet your standards or if you are seeing red flags, it is best let go while you have the chance. The man God has for us will find us. We just have to be patient. We cant sit and let someone pollute our lives. 1 Corinthians 15:33 Dont be fooled, bad company corrupts good character. Paul is telling the church in corinth, "Wake up! Dont let the Devil deceive you." The more you allow someone who is not good for you stay in your life, It will cause you to fall and stay stagnant.

The bible even tells us in 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 to not join together with non Christians because what do we have anything to do with them anyway. Now that's not to say that whenever they come around we are suppose to be rude, we still have the duty as Christian's to show the love of God and spread his word. But as far as being in a relationship, we should not want any parts of it. 

I think about this when I hear stories of women who say they want to be married but their man doesn't. Some will stay in a relationship for 10 years waiting for him to change his mind. But God is just waiting for us to understand our worth. He is waiting for us to develop an obedient heart, so he can work on us to bring the right one into our lives. God can change the heart of man, but we have to let him do that with the man in HIS way. Then if he is the one, God will present you to him as someone he is ready to have and hold. 

My plans aren’t your plans, nor are your ways my ways, says the LORD . Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my plans than your plans.
Isaiah 55:8‭-‬9

Sometimes it's not the man, Sometimes its us too. (Oops). Have you ever thought about maybe there are things inside of YOU that Gods needs to work on before you need to continue in a serious relationship. People are not perfect. So even when God brings the right one, we have to be the right one too so we can handle the imperfect things about that person. The itty bitty little things that he will do to get on your nerve. The things you should have the maturity to just let roll off your shoulders, or healthy ways to respond to conflict, we have to learn to develope that character. 

This includes protecting our purity. Sex causes a lot of deception. It has a whole lot of people thinking they are suppose to be with someone and God has clearly, on many occasions, shown the red flags. Sex is something beautiful that God created, but Satan tries to use it and pervert it by presenting it as an oppertunity to keep someone who does not deserve us.

If you are in a relationship and you find yourself from time to time thinking you want to get out, or of you are sometimes unsure, or if you find yourself constantly complaining about him or the relationship, Seek God. Get into his word and ask him, "God, is this right?" He will speak.  Jeremiah 29:12-13 When you call me and come and pray to me, I will listen to you. When you search for me, yes, search for me with all your heart, you will find me.

Or maybe there are some things in the relationship that you KNOW is not right. It's time to take a step back. We should all have standard and that standard is the word of God. If he, or the relationship does not meet that standard, it's time to let go. 

The relationship may seem good. You have your ups and your downs. But if you know (and we always know) that this is not what you want, or there are some things you do not want to take into a marriage, it's better to let go while you have the chance. Dont settle and miss the blessing that God is just waiting to bring into your life. He has so much more for you. We can trust God with our love lives. Jeremiah 29:11 says, I know the plans I have in mind for you, declares the LORD ; they are plans for peace, not disaster, to give you a future filled with hope. He knows what we need. 💖