When Marriage Ends...No One Wins

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I love when women who are in marriages that are not in a good place talk to me about their issues. I love it because it's a chance for me to encourage them to do what I didn't do. You see, the divorce rate is so high. Especially in christian homes because they are ripped apart by satan who was able to come in to do what his plan is to do, which is to steal, kill and destroy. But your marriage is a gift from God. With the right tools from Gods word and some wise counsel from someone you trust, your marriage can survive the attacks and schemes of the devil.


Now before I get into this blog article, the first thing I want to tell Women is seek God first and foremost. If you are having issues in your marriage and you want to give up, this is the time to get heavy into your word and pray like you have never done before. Second, if you are in a good bible based church, seek wise counsel, get help and have an open heart for what they may tell. BUT ABOVE ALL ELSE, SEEK GOD. What HE wants you to do is best.

The reason I say this is because, the world will try to make you do something contrary to the word of God and think it's ok. But it's not. People will give you all sorts of opinions and you will be so confused, you still won't know what to do. 

When we read Gods word, the bible only Gives ONE reason to divorce and that is adultery. Mathew 5:32 32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. Adultery is a hard one.

 

It can be very hard to overcome this and so it is the devil's attempt to break apart covenants. Now let's go back. Abandonment is also listed, where I dont see the actual word divorce, but it is clear God gives it as a reason to let go.

 

1 Corinthians 7:14-15 “For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.”

In my marriage, both of these were present. Even though it was time to let go, I chose to stay in my marriage for about another year and try to reconcile. This is why it is important to hear from God. Because even though these reasons are allowed, it says in Malachi 2:16 “For I hate divorce!” says the LORD, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”
So we should still try to work it out. But seek God on what he has to say.

Now if there is abuse, the bible doesnt say divorce, but by all means, Dont put yourself in danger. Get away and get help and wait for God to lead you. 

However, SEEK GOD. I had to get to a point to where I had to listen clearly to God and follow his guidance. After a while, I realized God was saying it was time to let go. But in some cases God will tell you he wants you to stay. God's word gives us tools to work on our marriage, so marriage is reconcilable. PRAY over your marriage. Even when times are good, having those prayers in your prayer bank and being able to pull from them will pay off in the end. Even if you are dealing with rough times, still make time to pray the word of God over your marriage. It will give you so much peace. You can trust God with your marriage. 

Maybe you're someone who got into marriage feeling like it would help the relationship. "We have issues, but maybe if we get married things will get better." Then later on down the line, "if this doesnt get better, we need to get a divorce." Once we marry, that is it. That's the time we should say, ok I'm in this until death. so no matter what happens, marriage is a life long commitment. Marriage is two people coming together and becoming one. Matthew 19:6: They are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.

 

We should go into marriage for the right reasons and with the mindset of I'm going to be with this man for the rest of my life. So many people in the world are deciding divorce because of reasons outside of the will of God. Now some may be happy after the fact, but it's still a loose-loose situation. If God is not leading you to divorce, it cant take place. So divorce does not happen because you all can't pay the bills anymore, or he keeps getting on your nerves, or you finally realize he is not the man for you, or because his mom doesnt like you and he's a mama's boy, or because you had a miscarriage, or because you guys argue every day and just cant get along, or because someone gained weight. These things can be worked out. Marriage takes work. 

God is our creator. He is able to change the heart of man. He is able to change a situation around with just a word if we let him do it. If you are a wife and you fill like giving up on your marriage, ask yourself these questions: Have you sought God about it first? Does your reason for divorce have any biblical reason to it? What have YOU done or what tools have you used to try and apply it to the situation to help it? A lot of times in marriage (and especially if you dont read your word,) You dont realize that women change a situation just by changing their character and their reaction to conflict. 1 peter 3 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives. 

We are able to set the temperature in our households. So even if your husband is not the man the word says he should be, we can still do our part and win him over. This is something I had to receive from God after my marriage had broken apart.

I was watching, Daddys Little Girls, the movie by Tyler Perry. The lady who plays Ella on The House Of Payne was talking to Montey after they left court. She told him, "The devil NEVER wins, unless you dont fight." So I want to encourage you, if God has not said to let go, there is still hope. In your alone time away from your husband, try going to war on his behalf and allowing God to change you as well. Dont give Satan room to intervene. Fight with the word of God. Change can happen, reconciliation can happen, Love can be restored! Dont give up! Study God's word. Do your part and allow God to do his. 💖